Anger - A Pathway to Truth
Anger and the Reclaiming of Self
Anger, like death, is a rarefied choice of discussion. Both carry a feeling of awkwardness and people seem to be uncomfortable to share their personal experiences.What they both have in common is life giving potential when calling them from the shadows and into the light of consciousness. In talking about death there is always an awareness of life. People fear their own mortality and yet, for those of us who choose to live in awareness of and connectedness to the Divine - Death is Life. Death is a beautiful and when appropriate, welcomed friend coming to take us Home.
Repressed anger is also akin to a death like state within. For it binds our capacity for full expression of the beauty and truth of who we are to itself , like a sucker wrapping itself around a rose bush. The more unexpressed anger we harbour inside ourselves, the less access we have to connect to the full life giving expression of passion. We can feel impotent. We think we are bored with life, others think we are lazy - but we are neither. What we are in those states of being is angry. It is our natural expression as Spirit in form to shine, to vibrate and create beauty. Our spiritual birthright is to fully express the vastness and glory of our being. However, life impacts from the moment we are conceived so by the time most of us reach our late teens, we have been swamped by negative, unexpressed emotions and memories and have lost contact with our core energy resources which like a battery, serves to keep us on full charge and sparks us into action.
The ego takes a hold and our way of being in the world and our relationship to ourselves is not influenced by our hearts and feelings, but driven by mental imprints and patterns and a fragile sense of self. There is a vast difference between living and feeling alive. When carrying a weight of anger inside of us like a heavy, large, dark stone even in our moments of achieving, we somehow feel numb, unfulfilled, empty and uninspired. Although the ego may feel pride, we are all familiar with the proverbial fall which follows, a familiar falling from our temporarily raised mood. Anger also disconnects us from fully expressing the life enhancing gift of creativity. Many an angry creative person has achieved success but not happiness. Often creative expression is an outlet for the deeply filled well of anger within. Yet creative expression of anger without consciousness, rarely achieves the necessary healing.
Appropriate Expression of Anger
In the appropriate expression of anger we feel empowered, adult, invigorated, lighter and a sense of rightness and peace. It feels clean and leaves us with no sense of guilt, shame or regret. It is often termed as 'Righteous' anger, clean and clear, concise and pure. Like a sword it cuts through the lies of self deception and the illusions of others. Think of Excalibur and pure warrior like anger. When we express anger from a place of Self love and integrity, respect for Self and other (for even those we are angry with have a wounded inner child) it begins to release us from the chains of the past, the origin of most anger. When we stand in our truth and remain unwilling to compromise it for anyone - we reclaim ownership of ourselves.
Appropriate expression of anger supports us in reclaiming Self, the inner child and the adult and to take back our power which was lost to us when we were very young, ill or in too much pain to recognise what was happening. Just like the phenomenon of ‘psychic vampires’ who steal the energy of others, there are also those amongst us who are ‘power junkies’ and recognise another’s weakened state claiming that person’s power for themselves - a little like mosquitos who live off of the blood of their hosts! This may sound macabre but I think you understand what I am saying,, Others may draw on our power and even use it against us. Sadly, these people are also deeply wounded with anger issues.
The Sword of Discernment
The time has come to take back your power. Think of your life, your Being, as a castle taken by impostors. The time has come for you to reclaim your seat of power, your throne and to become the king/queen of your own kingdom (The Self) and not the peasant afforded a few crumbs (a little power) from the banqueting table of unwanted hosts feasting off the resources in your own home! This is where the sword of discernment is needed. Imagine, if you can, Excalibur as a symbol of righteous anger. Visualise the 'Sword in the Stone' and see yourself drawing that sword and yielding it as a symbol of your commitment to living your truth. It could prove to be an asset on your journey to your Self. For when you have that sword in your hand (your truth) you are the most powerful person in your kingdom (your Self) and no other can have power over you or take power from you. However you must remain vigilant, not fall asleep (metaphorically) and have it stolen from you, again.
When our expression comes from a place of 'unclean' anger, it harms not only others, but equally as important ourselves. It leaves us feeling dis-empowered, more angry, emotional, weak, full of regret, wounded and very small. Like a blunt blade stabbing away and causing a bloody mess of surface wounds, inappropriately expressed, anger creates a lot more pain that can take a long time to heal.
To come into a place of feeling free about righteous anger, to own it and feel it as 'Warrior' energy will transform the way you experience yourself and others. You have got to be honest with your feelings. As the mantra goes; - Speak your truth, speak it with compassion and sensitivity and let the chips fall where they may'.
Righteous Anger - A Healthy Boundary Medicine.
When expressing righteous anger we must connect with the 'Observer ‘I', the 'Witnessing Self' to not only respect our own boundaries but to respect the boundaries of others, as well as check in with ourselves as to who it is in us expressing anger, the adult or the child? Choose to be in control of your emotions, a mature and balanced approach, rather than the emotions of the wounded child controlling you. The lure of rageful expression is strong and yet if you can experiment with being calm, centred, measured, focused and willing to cut to the core with a truth you will not allow to be compromised, you will feel a sense of fulfilment not possible with uncontrolled anger. Be prepared for the enraged part of you wanting to erupt and recognise that projecting this toward another will not heal and resolve anything for you personally. Look into past outbursts and the resulting outcomes!
Sometimes. there is a very real need to scream, shout, rant and rave and this can be an extremely healthy and vital thing to do, when caught in the moment and allowed expression. However, the essential thing to remember here is that the only place to allow this form of expression is far enough away from another (unless psychologically you need a witness to be present as part of your healing process and not a substitute for who/what you are feeling angry at). There is a fine line between repressing a powerful charge or allowing it expression. Suppression can actually make us ill as the energy is drawn back into the body and can wreak havoc on our health and our relationships, as well as the health of others. Inappropriate expression can do just the same.
From the Adapted to the Authentic Self
Appropriate expression of anger affords the potential for a shifting, changing, healing and transformation to take place, yet to express anger appropriately takes a huge amount of self-discipline. Words spoken calmly from a place of authenticity with an uncompromising directness and expression of actual truth have an immeasurable positive impact on our relationship to ourselves and to others. Compare this to words that accuse, blame, insult and are verbally violent, which break down any possibility of resolving conflict within ourselves or with others and lead to an ever decreasing spiral of dysfunction and abuse. When we speak our truth we are aligned with our Authentic Self and with our Adult. To act out and react links us to our Adapted self - a negative ego construct built over a period of years as a defence mechanism by the our wounded inner child.
Owning Feelings - Boundaries - Sacred Space
One more golden practice when journeying to the Authentic Self - Take responsibility and Own how you feel. For example when expressing righteous anger you could say something along the lines of "When you said/did that I felt./ feel..” To own how you feel is responsible action. We give away our power when we blame others for how we feel. We feel how we do (as adults) because we fail to put appropriate boundaries in place to protect our sacred space. The child in you has a right to point a finger and say "You did this to me" because he/she was too vulnerable and dependent on parents or caregivers to be able to safely express pain, hurt and upset. Yet, we are not children and the adult in us has to take responsibility for how we feel in the present. We alone allow what we let into our sacred space.
Speaking For the Inner Child and not As the Inner Child
So how do we appropriately express the inner child's rightful "you did this to me" feelings? We speak from the adult in us for the inner child. For example "When I was a child and you did this to me, I am left feeling...." We have to speak for the inner child because to speak as the inner child leads to victim statements of blame which result in feelings of guilt, shame and regret and leave us feeling confused, weak and perpetuates our sense of feeling dis-empowered. By speaking for the inner child we remove ourselves from the often overwhelming ‘charge’ of anger which disconnects us from the victim stance. We are able to cut through to the truth of what needs to be expressed without reactionary emotions. Approaching the expression of our emotions from this place in ourselves paves the way for liberation from deeply etched historical patterns and offers our inner child a way through the memories of past wounding and sadness.
The Soul Child - The Golden Child
It is our true birthright to be and live The Soul Child - The Golden Child. If our childhood has been traumatic (and for most of us this is true) the Soul Child remains alive within us, but goes into hiding often buried deeply to protect itself. This part of us is purity and innocence, trust and wonder, play and joy. This is never lost to us no matter how much pain we endured in childhood, but is lost to our everyday experience of ourselves. Righteous anger allows us to reclaim the core beauty of who we are for it sets in motion the process of living from the only place worth living from -Truth.
Truth
In living from Truth we align with the sacred of who we are and of where we are from. The more fully we embrace living from a place of truth directly influences the raising of our vibration and frequency. These are the energetic signals we send out to others, the world and the universe to set in motion the Law of Attraction. We cannot underestimate the power of Truth. Living from Truth leads to Purity which leads to Unconditional Love which heals not only ourselves but can heal the whole world.
Soul Contracts
We must remind ourselves of the soul contracts we agreed to fulfil before incarnating. Despite all the challenges and circumstances of the past, we did agree at soul level to experience all that we have for our own development, be that resolving karma or being tested to the extreme as a form of life apprenticeship to help guide and positively influence others in our future. We have all chosen our life circumstances and in taking responsibility for such we are aligning with truth through being honest with ourselves and others. Being aware of this allows us one day, when we are ready, to feel gratitude and appreciation to those who were our greatest teachers, often disguised as perceived adversaries. It is our choice when we make the decision to see through the eyes of truth and speak its wisdom and when we do everything changes.
I hope these thoughts awaken within you a burning desire to live from Truth. May you become One with that sacred and beautiful place of being. For this is a place of peace, sanctuary, fulfilment and personal purpose fulfilled.
In Love and Truth,
nicolya
